Sunday March 8

Today is Sunday, March 8, 5.45am. Cant sleep at all. Feeling so restless but not very sure what's the reason. Maybe it's because of something that I had read, which I had regretted that I had even bother to read it. I had always thought that I care but then sometimes I just don't know what I should do. Care so much but then ended up shattered. Funny how 2 words can shattered your soul.

*You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving.

People always said I am so lucky that I am always happy, nothing to worry about. Am I?. What they cant see doesn't mean it doesn't exist tho. At age 25, feeling like a burden to everyone and everything. Currently no job and depending on others for allowances. If I am what I am 2 years back, I wouldn't feel anything but now, totally different. Cannot even made a decision on my own, depending on others even on living. Sometime life is so hard.

~Always give with a cheerful heart. Give because you want to, not because you have to.


Working on foreign country is a dream, but is it a fantasy? Bringing the idea up = disaster. They keep saying a lot of stuff, which I understand but at the very least I want to try. Being oppose of working in foreign country due to currency, recession etc. To me, recession isn't the end of the world. Its just that things are more rougher and tougher than it used to be. If I am so worried about it, then I wouldn't even bother thinking about it in the first place. And I just want to do something which I really love to and is happy with it. Sometimes I wonder whether I should follow what my heart wants or shall I follow on what my parent want. Stress out man...What are the reasons to work overseas......Lets say I love the living style here. Not dependable and also ofcoz CHC. Always been a great help to cope up with everyday problems in life and also teaching us to walk together with Jesus in his way. To love and to give cheerfully. Never thought about it tho. I have always trying to protect myself from being cheated or hurt by others. Always been calculative but now I wanted to change. Its not easy tho and time is your best friend now and its ticking.

Sorry for reading this tho. I have always thought of putting happy stuff in, but then sometimes, when you got no people to talk to, this is the only way to let things off your heart.